Offbeat Auctions

(in prop money)

If you’ve got any antique hairbrushes laying around, you might want to check them for famous hairs.  Apparently hair is a collectible now.  Don’t ask me how they verified it, but one of George Washington’s hairs is on eBay.  I don’t know what I’d do with a hair, but apparently someone wants it.  Currently bidding is at $8,300 with several days to go.

This is the actual prosthetic hand used in several episodes of the show.

If you’ve taken a look at the entertainment memorabilia category lately, you’ll find it stuffed to the gills with things that were owned (or worn, or looked at by, or chewed by) Elvis.  All sorts of off the wall stuff pops up. 

You can get his actual grand piano that lived at Graceland for several years:

X-rays:

The original TCB necklace:

The ugliest ring I’ve ever seen:

Parts from his airplane:

Even chewing gum supposedly chewed by him:

Now that’s something the Elvis collector can’t live without.

I can’t even begin to explain this one. Here’s a snippet:

This ring is extraordinary omnipotent powerfull genie ring.If you are looking for a serious, extremely powerful item then this is it! This genie will change your life. You will receive the right outcome for your wishes. This genie will take care of the more complicated wishes of yours and will do it very well.

He says several times that your wishes will be granted. That’s a hell of a guarantee.

You’ve gone to Renaissance Faire (that’s with an ‘e’) every year since you hit puberty. You’ve started a local jousting guild called “The Merrye Bande of Jousting Dragones” and offered to perform at the MLK parade. You’ve (obviously) memorized Monty Python and the Holy Grail and can recite it verbatim, complete with choreography and multiple accents.

What else is left for you to achieve?

Not much, I know. But wouldn’t it be cool if the next time someone called you ‘Lord Douchebag’ they could really mean it?

For a nominal fee, you too could be a Knight! Just like Lancelot! Or Richard the Lionhearted!

Or Bono!

Ebay is going to make all your dreams come true!

Bid now, before some other loser takes your title. Once you’ve got this knighthood under your belt, there’s just ‘kissing an actual girl’ left on our lifetime to-do list. So get cracking Sir Prancelot.